My SemiAquatic Girlfriend
by HelgaGP
Summary: A mission goes wrong and Perry the Platypus finds himself no longer a platypus and no longer a him. To get back to his original self, Perry has to spend a week with his nemesis. DoofenshmirtzXPerry. It's slash, but not slash! Chapter 5 is up!
1. Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Hm. I've been away from for quite a while now *cough*6 years*cough* and honestly didn't think I was coming back as an author. But I never stopped writing fanfiction, just stopped posting it. But, in the time that I haven't posted, I have also had no feedback whatsoever. So I'm curious as to what my writing style/skill is like now. Therefore, please review and critique. If you just want to leave the regular "Yay! PerryxDoof rox!!" type post, that's fine too. But I'd love to get a few well thought out opinions, too. I'd rather not get flames, but I understand it's an occupational hazard that comes with writing fanfiction.

I'm still not certain how far I'll get in this story. I do want to get it finished, and am trying to piece it together, but I'm hitting some metal road blocks. Let me know if it begins to feel fragmented. So here is the finished Chapter one. Not a lot is changed in the first half, but the second half has much more to it.

* * *

**Chapter 1 **

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

"Huh? Oh, there you are, Perry the Platypus," Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked toward the open window Perry had just jumped through. The semi-aquatic secret agent now stood in a crouch, waiting for a trap to spring shut or for Doofenshmirtz to do something. The evil doctor just stayed where he was, sitting in his recliner, drumming his skinny fingers on the arm of the chair. He glanced up at a wall clock.

"You're kind of late, aren't you? I mean, usually you burst in here just on cue or a few minutes before." He motioned toward a giant laser looking thing in the corner. "I've had this thing done for nearly half an hour now and have just been sitting here waiting for you to show up!" Perry just watched him carefully. Doofenshmirtz sighed a bit and stood up. "Ah, well," he said as he stretched his arms over his head. "Let's get started." He walked over to the corner where the contraption he had finished earlier was set up.

Perry followed, watching for any sign of a trap as he went. His missions usually followed a pretty routine set of events; one of which involved him getting caught by Doofenshmirtz' trap then breaking free somehow. He'd like to avoid the trap if possible; it went a bit quicker that way.

"This," Doofenshmirtz began once they were both near the machine, "Is my latest evil invention: the Woma-nator! You might not be able to tell because of the placement of the hyphen, but the word 'woman' is supposed to be in there. I ordered the stencil from this place online and they just put that hyphen in there. It's a typo or something. Anyway, I thought about trying to fix it on my own, but that would involve cutting the stencil apart, trying to line it up right again and all that so I just went with it. I figured the point would come across just fine the way it is. You get it, right?"

Perry just stared at him.

"Well, moving on… With this device," Doofenshmirtz went on, "I can turn any sentient being into a human female!"

Perry raised a non-existent eyebrow at that.

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "I haven't been having too great a luck with the ones that already exist, so I figure why not try making some new ones?"

Perry gave him a look that clearly said "that's just sad."

"Well, you know what, Perry the Platypus? No one asked for your opinion! Now observe!" Doofenshmirtz grabbed the handles of the device and aimed it at a canary sitting in a tree many stories down. A flash of green light and suddenly a young blonde woman was sitting on the branch looking quite surprised even before the thin branch broke under the sudden unexpected weight change.

"It's rather convenient that they're already clothed when they turn human," Doofenshmirtz observed. "It would be rather embarrassing if they weren't."

That was all Perry needed to see. Jumping into action, he did a flying kick straight into Doofenshmirtz's stomach. This sent the doctor doubling over as he fell to the side, causing the device to swivel on its stand and send a beam into the corner. One second there was a line of ants dragging a cookie crumb toward a hole in the wall, the next there was a cluster of identical, small, thin, brunette women. They all looked surprised a moment before their thoughts turned back to the crumb and they all began fighting for the piece.

Doofenshmirtz was still trying to re-catch his breath when Perry came at him with a punch which sent him and the Woma-nator in the other direction. Another ray of green and a plump, black-haired woman fell out of a spider web up in the corner of the room.

Knocking Doofenshmirtz out of the way, Perry jumped onto the device's control panel and began looking for the self-destruct button or a reverse switch. To his surprise, neither of these buttons had been included on the machine.

"Got you!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed just early enough for Perry to jump out of the way before the doctor could actually grab him. All Doofenshmirtz was able to do was sweep the secret agent's feet out from under him, causing Perry to slam into the metal body of the laser and slide to the floor, landing on his head.

Perry had a few moments to contemplate the need for thicker, softer hats before everything went black.

* * *

Perry woke up slowly, blinking up at a strange ceiling. He had to shut his eyes again as the light coming through a window to his left and the white of the ceiling combined to send a sharp pain through his head.

Even with his eyes closed, he was able to figure out a few things. First, he was in a bed. It had to be a rather small bed the way he fit in it so well. Where would someone get platypus sized sheets and pillows? Second, his hat was gone. But he'd deal with that later. Third, he felt weird, but that could have been a result of hitting his head. Fourth, he could smell flowers. That seemed odd.

Slowly opening his eyes a crack, Perry turned his head toward the scent. There was a small table beside the bed with a red rose in a vase. That explained the flower scent, but just raised so many more questions.

His hat was also set on the table. At least… it looked like his hat. It was much smaller than it should have been. He reached out to pick up his hat and stopped when a hand that was very much not his own responded.

It was a human hand.

A rather feminine looking human hand.

Crap.

Everything he had just been thinking about came together instantly. The "small" bed, the weird feeling, his hat shrinking – he'd been hit by Doofenshmirtz's Woma-nator.

He pushed himself up in the bed and his – wait… no… her. She pushed herself up in the bed and felt like the world had just jumped slightly. She put her head down in her hands to let the dizziness and pain in the top of her head pass, and her vision was cut off by a curtain of straight, teal-colored hair. Not exactly a natural color, but in this culture that seemed obsessed with any hair color that wasn't their original one, it wasn't unheard of. If she could figure out where she was—

A knock on the door stopped her thoughts. She didn't have time to react before the door to the room opened and Doofenshmirtz entered carrying a tray of something that smelled delicious. Her stomach growled and made Perry wonder just how long she'd been out.

"Ah!" Doofenshmirtz stopped in the doorway when he saw Perry sitting up. He recovered from his surprise and moved further into the room. "Good morning, Perry Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus." He laughed awkwardly. "Or, I guess, 'good afternoon' would be more accurate. You… you've been out for quite some time. I thought you might be hungry once you woke up, so… I'll just set this here, okay? Okay." He set the tray on the table beside her hat and the rose. Perry gave the rose a raised eyebrow. Doofenshmirtz saw this and laughed uncomfortably again, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh… yeah… that…. Well, you see… I thought that maybe, since, you know, you're now a girl and I'm still a guy…I mean, we already know so much about each other, and that's always the most awkward step, isn't it?"

Perry just gave him a blank stare.

"Oh, come on! Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

Perry frowned a bit and sensed that her mind was protecting her sanity from something.

Doofenshmirtz sighed in resignation. "Fine. Let's get the humiliation over with." He grabbed the rose out of the vase on the table and held it out to Perry. "Perry Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus, would you like to be my girlfriend… maybe?" He turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the turn-down beating he was sure was coming.

Nothing happened.

Cautiously, Dr. Doofenshmirtz opened one eye and slowly looked back toward the bed. Perry was staring at a point somewhere between Doofenshmirtz's face and the rose in his out stretched hand, apparently in shock. Well, it was better than a beating.

Perry's left eye twitched slightly then she shook her head hard to clear it. She blinked up at Doofenshmirtz a few moments then gave him a bewildered look and pointed toward the door.

"What? Oh, you're wondering about the other girls?" Doofenshmirtz guessed. Perry nodded once. Doofenshmirtz sighed heavily and drooped a little. "Yeah… I… I tried talking to them, but… well… they just don't _get_ me…" Perry frowned at this; her new, thin, teal eyebrows pulled together in skepticism. The doctor saw this and scowled. "That was the nice way of saying they laughed in my face. Well, the spider was polite enough to give me a little hug, but I think she was just trying to drink my blood." He rubbed his neck a little at this. "Yeah… I think I may have created a vampire, but," he shrugged. "Vampires are 'in' now, aren't they?" He shook his head dismissively. "Anyways…" He reoffered the flower to Perry. "What do you say? Give it a try?"

Perry stared at him. The doctor's face was so genuinely hopeful that it actually made her hesitate. He really, honestly, believed he had a chance at this. Did he? It was true they knew each other… Wow. She must have hit her head harder than she thought to even consider it.

Doofenshmirtz saw the hesitation in Perry's face begin to crumble into a scowl. He quickly changed his tactic.

"One week," he bargained, holding up one long finger for emphasis. "Just stay here for one week and see how it goes, hm? You never know unless you give it a chance!"

Perry's scowl deepened into a look of skepticism again and he quickly added. "In a week I can build a _reverse_ woma-nator. Hang around that long, and I'll make everything go back to normal." He hastily added, "Of course, only if you want it to. If you don't want to…" the doctor trailed off as the scowl quickly returned to Perry's face and he back tracked. "Everything back to normal. You'll be a little fedora-wearing platypus again." When Perry's look of skepticism remained set on her face, Doofenshmirtz groaned a little before adding in a pained voice, "And no evil. For one week. Pinky swear."

Perry frowned at the proffered pinky finger then at the rose in the other hand. It was her job to keep Doofenshmirtz from committing evil… and the idea of going a full week without having to worry about what the crazy doctor was scheming _was_ tempting… Her stomach grumbled, turning her thoughts back to more practical things. Hunger and the bump on her head must be working together to cloud her judgment.

Before Doofenshmirtz knew what was happening, Perry leapt to her feet on the bed, used the mattress as a spring board to propel herself into the air and over his head with a flip – grabbing half the sandwich off the plate on the table as she passed over it – and landed on the other side. She wobbled a bit as the floor came up to meet her much quicker than she was used to, but was able to recover without loosing too much time. Once she was out the door, she was able to quickly pinpoint her location in the building on the mental blueprints in her mind.

As she sprinted down the hall with no real plan of action in mind, Perry could hear the familiar sound of Doofenshmirtz cursing her name.

* * *

A quick note, I am in no way against true same sex yaoi. I just have this preference for a female human Perry. At least for this story. I don't know why.


	2. Hey, Where's Perry?

I didn't mention this before, but I don't own any of the characters, kay?

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Candace, honey, can you put away your clothes?" Linda Flynn called up the stairs in the direction of her daughter's room. She heard the slightly annoyed "Yes, Mom," she'd expected and continued into the living room.

And stopped.

Over on the couch a strange teal haired woman was sitting quietly. Well, not really sitting so much as lying front-down on the cushions with her legs and arms tucked beneath her torso and an unfocused look in her brown eyes.

"Oh…kay… Um… hello…" Linda murmured before slowly backing out of the living room and into the kitchen. "Honey!" she called, trying not to sound hysterical.

"Yes, dear?" Lawrence called from just inside the garage.

"There's a strange woman in our living room!" Linda called back. She heard a mumble of "oh, dear," from the garage and was soon joined in the kitchen by her husband. He peaked around the doorway into the living room. The woman was still sitting there like nothing was happening.

"Well, now, that is a bit odd, isn't it?" Lawrence commented. "Get the phone. I'll try and talk to her." Linda hurried over to the cordless phone as Lawrence carefully walked toward the couch.

"Well, hello there," he greeted her cautiously. "You seem a bit lost. Is there anything we can do for you? Someone we can call, perhaps?"

The woman just gave a strange sound somewhere between a clicking and a growl.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Lawrence replied. The woman looked up in his direction, but her eyes remained out of focus. Lawrence frowned. "Okay… I don't mean to be rude," he began hesitantly. "But you've given my wife quite a fright. So… I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave." The first sign of emotion showed in the woman's face at that. A slight look of worry as her eyes focused on him. Lawrence saw this and felt remorse as his resolve slipped a bit.

"Is she gone?" Linda peaked into the living room. She saw the woman still on the couch. "Honey, is she giving you any trouble? Should I call the police?"

"Oh, no, no," Lawrence replied quickly. "No need for that. But… she seems a bit lost. Don't you think that maybe there's something we could do for her?"

"We can't let strange people into our house," Linda murmured under her breath. "We have three kids to protect, you know."

"What are you protecting us from?"

Linda and Lawrence looked up toward the stairs at the sound of Phineas's voice. He and Ferb stopped halfway down the stair case when they saw the woman on the couch.

"Hey, cool hair," Phineas said to the woman. She gave out a short growl/click in reply. Phineas looked up at his brother. "Huh, she sounds like Perry." He frowned then and looked around. "Where _is_ Perry?"

"Honey…" Linda murmured meaningfully. Lawrence sighed.

"Very well." He took the woman's hand and helped her up off the couch. She didn't resist, but she didn't help him either. "I'm so very sorry about this," Lawrence told her as he led her to the front door. "I do wish there was something we could do to help you out, but my wife is getting nervous." He opened the door and led her out. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ten dollar bill and handed it to her. "Use this for the bus to get where ever you need to go and find yourself a nice snack, okay? Okay then. Have a good evening." With that, he shut the door and locked it.

Perry stood on the step, the bill in one hand, staring at the door.

She hadn't really thought this plan was going to work, but having no other ideas she had thought she would try it. The Flynn-Fletchers weren't stupid, but they weren't the most observant people either. She had thought maybe she would get a day or two to think up another plan.

Now what?

She looked down at the ten. That wouldn't get her very far. A bus ride and a snack, sure, but after that she would be broke. She really only had one option…

Sighing, Perry turned and walked down the sidewalk toward the bus stop.

* * *

By the time she got off the bus down town, Perry had actually managed to convince herself that this could be a good thing. While she had enjoyed being the family pet and would sincerely miss the Flynn-Fletcher family, being human could be interesting. As of yet, she hadn't decided whether she'd try to contact Major Monogram or not. Honestly, she could probably do better than working for him. He got a bit annoying sometimes.

Well, she had a week to think about it. After that, Doofenshmirtz would have the reverse ray done and all this would be forgotten. At least, it had better be.

Perry looked up at the towering building, its illuminated windows and company sign lighting up the night, before ringing the doorbell. It was a bit odd that a corporate building would have a doorbell, but then again, this was Doofenshmirtz.

It took three more rings before Perry heard an annoyed, "I'm coming! I'm coming! Geesh!" Then the door opened and Doofenshmirtz grumbled "What do you—" He stopped when he saw her, and a grin broke out over his face. "Perry Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus! You came back!" He caught her up in a hug before she had a chance to react. "I knew you would!" He declared. Perry had to wonder what it was about their previous encounter that had made the man even remotely believe she would be coming back.

He let her go and stepped to the side, motioning for her to come in. "Now, where are my manners? Come in, come in. If you're hungry help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I'm sorry I don't have much, but I'm used to cooking for one when Vanessa's not here and I usually just get take out. We could go grocery shopping later if you want, just let me know if you need anything. This is your home now, too, you know."

At that, Perry held up one finger and scowled a bit.

"Right, right," Doofenshmirtz held up his hands in an I-mean-no-harm gesture. "One week. I know. But, well, I'm just trying to think positive here. Is that so bad?"

Perry rolled her eyes but her scowl faded and she shook her head. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Honestly, the thought of spending one week here, not working, and not having to worry about Doofenshmirtz pulling any evil stuff sounded like a pretty good vacation.

Mm… vacation. Yeah, a vacation was just what Perry needed. The thought made her realize just how worn out she actually was. Of course, that had more to do with fighting, being knocked unconscious, having her species _and_ gender changed, being asked out by her nemesis, and being thrown out of her own home all in one day. Yep, it had been quite a day even by Agent P's standards.

Feeling the weight of the day's events suddenly pressing on her, Perry trudged toward the elevator thinking only of the bed she had woken up in just a few hours earlier.

"Perry-Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus, where are you going?" Doofenshmirtz called after her. Perry simply pointed toward the ceiling without so much as slowing down. "What? You're going to bed already? But it's still early!" He began following her to the elevator which would take her to the higher levels of the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. building.

Perry ignored him as she reached the elevator and pressed the "up" button. The doors opened immediately and she entered the box. Unfortunately, so did Doofenshmirtz.

"I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie or something," he said as the elevator rose. Perry kept her eyes on the numbers above the door as they lit up one at a time. Doofenshmirtz pressed on, "You know… pop some popcorn, get some soda, lots of pillows and blankets on the couch… doesn't that sound nice and cozy? Just spend some quality time together. We've never done that before. Well, you know, without trying to destroy each other…"

The number for the floor Doofenshmirtz lived on mercifully lit up and the elevator stopped with a slight jerk. Perry was out the door as soon as it was open wide enough for her to fit through, but Doofenshmirtz was right behind her. She did her best to tune him out as she walked down the hallway.

"Or it doesn't have to be a movie," he tried, again falling into step behind her. "We could… uhhmm… well… Okay, honestly I was kind of banking on the movie idea. I really hadn't thought out any alternatives."

They were now at the door to the room in which Perry had woken up. She opened the door and stepped inside, flicking the lights on as she did. Sensing that Doofenshmirtz was about to follow her yet again, she turned, shook her head once then shut the door in his face.

"Well that was kind of rude." She heard him say from outside the door. "If you didn't want to do anything you could have just told me. Well, whatever. I'll be in my room if you need me. You've broken in here enough times you should know where everything is…" he sounded slightly bitter at that. Perry heard him sigh before he called, "Good night, Perry-Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus. Sweet dreams."

Perry hesitated, wondering if she should do anything that might encourage this annoying behavior, and then gave a small sigh of her own. She gave her usual clicky-noise in reply. This must have satisfied him, because Doofenshmirtz didn't say anything else and Perry heard the sound of his footsteps fading down the hall. Once they faded away completely, she let out a deep, tired sigh and half sat, half collapsed to the floor. She felt better almost immediately. From here, the view-point was what she was used to.

She did a quick survey of the room. It was a small room. The bed was against the wall farthest from her, but would still only take maybe three steps to get to. This put the small table only about two steps from her. A couple wooden sliding doors were set into the wall to her right. Perry knew this to be a small closet from her memorization of the building's blueprints. A full-length mirror on the wall opposite the closet was the only other thing in the room. Perry found her eyes drawn to the reflective glass and stared.

She had been human now for nearly half a day, but this was the first time she had actually seen herself and paid attention. She was short with an athletic build and breasts much smaller than the ones she always saw on similarly built women on TV; but that much she had already known about herself. She also knew that her hair was the teal color her fur had been, but hadn't realized how straight it was. It fell to a sharp, even cut at her chin with not even a hint of wave to the strands. Perry thought of all the curlers, straighteners, crimpers, and hair driers Candace always had laying around and silently made herself a promise that she'd never use anything like that in the name of beauty. Of course, Candace was going to be a girl a lot longer than Perry planned to. It shouldn't be that hard a promise to keep.

Her eyes stared back at her, the same color brown they had been as a platypus but looked darker next to the paleness of her skin which had only seen sunlight once. She knew from her arms, neck, shoulders, and chest that the rest of her body was this same paleness. Most of it, however, was covered either by the tight tank top that matched her hair, or the brown pants which would have matched her hat nicely if it had still fit her. The hat was currently stuffed into one of the pockets of those pants.

Perry stared at the unfamiliar face looking back at her from the mirror. She hated to admit it, but the fact that Doofenshmirtz could create a device that could do something like this was actually pretty amazing. She'd never let him know that, but it was true.

She pushed the thought from her mind, blaming it on fatigue, and got back to her feet. Three heavy steps later and Perry was curled up on the bed. She didn't use the pillow and she didn't bother getting beneath the covers. She never had before.

As she drifted toward sleep, she stretched, rolled over, and tried to cuddle up to a body that wasn't there. She opened her eyes and stared at the empty side of the bed, sleep retreating from her quickly. She was used to sleeping with Phineas or Ferb at night.

That brought up a new set of thoughts. How were the boys taking the fact that their pet platypus had failed to come home tonight? Perry and Phineas had been together for as long as either of them could remember, and she had gotten close to Ferb shortly after he had become part of the family years ago.

Perry sighed and sprawled out on her back. She felt completely worn out, but knew it was going to take some time before she would manage to fall asleep now.

Doofenshmirtz had better get that device made soon, or Perry was going to be facing a lot of sleepless nights.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz is a lonely little man. Actually, only part of that is accurate. He's over six feet tall! I read that somewhere…


	3. Whatcha Doin?

Okay, I wanted to do this gradually, but typing out "Perry Who-Is-No-Longer-the Platypus" is a bit much, so Doofenshmirtz will probably start calling her/him simply "Perry" a lot quicker than I had originally planned. "Doofenshmirtz" gets to be a lot to type, too, but that one will have to stay as is for the time being. I doubt Perry would ever be as quick to be on more familiar terms with his enemy as Dr. D would.

Also, I've decided Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" is the theme song for this story. Or, really, just Perry and Heinz in general. Listen to it sometime with these two in mind. It's great.

* * *

**Chapter 3 – What'cha Doin'?**

Perry gave a contented little growl/click as he drifted toward wakefulness. He cuddled up a bit closer to Phineas's body and smiled at the comforting warmth of his owner. In response, he felt Phineas's hand pet him on the head lightly.

Hm. Phineas must be going through a growth spurt. His hand seemed bigger.

"Good morning, Perry Who-Is-No-Longer-the Platypus." A voice with a somewhat German-like accent said softly.

That wasn't Phineas.

Perry jolted up on all fours in the bed, the sheets and comforter still hanging over his back.

Doofenshmirtz? What _the_ _heck_ was he doing in bed with Doofenshmirtz?!

The day before came back to Perry like a shock, and she came off her hands to plop back to sit on her knees, the bedding sliding off her back. She could remember everything. The fight, being knocked unconscious, waking up as a human female, the embarrassing scene back home, and the even more embarrassing return to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc…. and the agreement to be the evil genius's girlfriend for a week in exchange for a place to stay and a way back to being a platypus. What she couldn't remember, however, was getting into his bed.

Doofenshmirtz's sleepy smile turned into a very awake frown of fear for his own safety as he watched Perry's face go from udder confusion to slit-eyed anger.

"P-Perry? Sweetie?" Doofenshmirtz tried.

Wrong word choice.

When Dr. Doofenshmirtz' mind was able to catch up, he was being held upside down by one ankle, staring at the street twenty stories below, and screaming like a little girl. He hadn't even known his voice could reach that pitch. On the up side, he had worn pants to bed under his nightshirt so he wasn't mooning the entire tri-state area. Yay for small miracles.

"What are you doing?!" He cried. "I haven't even had time to do anything evil today!" Seeing Perry's eyes narrow further at this, and suddenly remembering his promise, Doofenshmirtz backtracked quickly by adding, "Not—not that I was _planning_ to do anything evil today. Just that I haven't had time to do _anything_ today. Especially anything that might get me thrown out a window…" he looked down and swallowed hard. "…of a very tall building… Actually, now that I think about it, this kinda reminds me of this time when I was a child… When my father was angry at me he would tie me upside down in trees. It wasn't too bad, but we didn't have piñatas… so…" He looked back up at the furious platypus-turned-woman leaning out the window. She was now looking rather annoyed and her grip loosened just the slightest bit. Doofenshmirtz panicked. "But that can wait for another time!" He folded his hands in a pleading gesture. "Please let me back in, Perry Who-Is-No-Longer-the Platypus. Please?"

Perry considered dropping him, but it was obvious the man had no idea why he was being placed in mortal peril and that just made it a wasted effort. Grudgingly, Perry hauled him up over the window sill.

"Oh, thank you, Perry Who-is—oof!"

Keeping hold of his ankle, Perry dragged the doctor across the room and pointed at the bed with the other hand, glaring at him.

"What?" Doofenshmirtz demanded. "You want me to make the bed?" Perry's glare hardened. Doofenshmirtz sighed in annoyance. "This would be a lot easier if you would just tell me what you want. Why can't women ever just _say_ what they want? And don't try and use the whole I'm-a-platypus-I-can't-talk thing. That doesn't work for you anymore."

Perry stopped at this. Could she talk? She didn't see any reason why she couldn't. She knew the English language perfectly and now possessed a mouth and vocal cords that could form the words. But she wasn't about to try it now and give him the satisfaction of being right. If Perry talked, it was going to be when and what _she_ wanted.

Shaking her head, Perry pointed toward the door then back at the bed, giving the pajama-clad evil genius a glare that should have had fire in the background. This time, Doofenshmirtz got the point.

"Wait… are you saying that you don't remember coming in here last night?" He asked. He sounded slightly hurt, but more bewildered than anything. He frowned then. "And I suppose you think that _I_ brought you here." Perry just kept up the glare. "Well, I've got news for you, Missus Throw-Innocent-People-Out-of-Windows: you came to me! Ha!" Perry's surprise probably would have saved Doofenshmirtz from any further harassment had he stopped talking there. But he didn't. Instead, he added, "See? You like me better than you let on."

And he was back out the window.

* * *

"What'cha doin'?"

Phineas sighed. "Hi, Isabella."

Isabella frowned and tipped her head to the side a bit in worry. Phineas and Ferb were sitting under their usual tree, but there weren't any plans, blue-prints, or outlines in sight. Both boys looked run down and miserable.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"We can't find Perry anywhere," Phineas replied.

"That's not so unusual," Isabella reminded him. "He's usually gone at this time of day. He'll be back."

Phineas shook his head. "He's been gone since yesterday afternoon. We searched everywhere. Ferb even called some of the neighbors. Nobody's seen him."

"Oh," Isabella began to feel some concern for the little creature. "Have you tried singing the 'Come Home Perry' song? That worked last time."

"Twice," Phineas replied miserably. "But nothing."

"Oh…" Isabella sighed then perked up a bit. "Are you sure you used enough bass? That could have thrown off the song."

"The bass was perfect," Phineas assured her.

"Oh." Isabella plopped down to join the brothers against the tree in their depression.

The three of them remained in silence like this for a few minutes. The empty space where Perry usually laid seemed to have its own presence.

The silence was broken suddenly by Phineas giving a frustrated growl. Ferb and Isabella stared at him in surprise as he jumped to his feet and began pacing back-and-forth under the tree.

"This is no good!" He told them as he walked. "Sitting around under a tree is good for planning, but not for finding! If we just sit here, we'll never figure out where Perry is! There has to be some way to find out where he went…"

"The worst part is the not knowing," Ferb agreed.

"Exactly!" Phineas exclaimed.

"But usually we _do_ just wait for him to come back," Isabella reminded him.

"Well, this isn't the usual deal," he insisted. "I just _know_ that if we don't find him, Perry's not coming home this time." Ferb gave a solemn nod.

Isabella looked worried at this announcement. "Do you really think It's that serious?" She asked. Then another thought, "You don't think he's hurt, do you?"

"I don't know," Phineas admitted, looking a bit nervous at the thought. "All I know is if he's not coming to us, we have to go to him." He stopped walking with a start and his face lit up. "That's it!" He turned to look at the two still seated under the tree. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

* * *


	4. I Know What We're Gonna Do Today!

Sorry for the wait! *Bows* Real life has me preoccupied and for a while the story just stopped coming to me. However, I now have almost all of the ending written. Unfortunately, in the story's time, there's a good week or so that has to pass before the ending starts. I have a lot planned, but little written. That and I just stared Veterinary Technology school. So, please, be patient. I DO NOT want to let this story die. It just may take a bit of time. Thank you all who have stuck with it, reviewed, faved, and added me to their watch lists! It really has helped me to stay at it.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – I Know What We're Gonna Do Today**

"Ya know that platypus never did stay put." Buford commented as he and Baljeet stood just inside the shade of the tree and watched Phineas tinker with a device he couldn't name. "If I were you, I'd just forget about him and find yourself a good pet that stays right where ya want it to stay. Like a goldfish! Goldfish are great. Just don't take 'em swimmin' and you're good."

Phineas kept his eyes on his work. "Actually, we've had a goldfish before."

"Yeah? What happened to that?" Buford asked.

Phineas shrugged. "He ran away to go live in the ocean."

Buford's eyes widened. "Wow." He paused then added. "That's just sad."

"Naw," Phineas grinned. "He's happy there, so we're happy. Right, Ferb?" He looked back at his brother for confirmation. Ferb gave a nod.

Buford frowned. "Your optimism scares me sometimes."

"One last adjustment…" Phineas murmured as he used a small screwdriver to twist a tiny screw. "There!" He set the screwdriver down and held up the device for everyone to see. "It's finished!"

"Cool!" Isabella chimed as she rejoined the group. Phineas had given her the task of finding both Perry's and Candace's hairbrushes. "What is it?"

"It's a DNA-based tracking device," Phineas replied. "I just combined dad's GPS system with Ferb's DNA tester. Now all we have to do is insert a piece of DNA, like, for example, a hair, and the GPS screen will show us exactly where that person – or semi-aquatic mammal – is!"

"Heeeey…" Buford interrupted whatever Phineas was about to say next. "Didn't they do this on _The Fairly Oddparents_? To make a fairy tracker?"

"Why yes, yes they did," Phineas replied. Everyone was quiet for a moment, looking at Buford.

"You watch _The Fairly Oddparents_?" Baljeet broke the silence, speaking the question that was on everyone's mind, but nobody wanted to be the one to ask.

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Buford growled.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Baljeet replied quickly.

"So, I don't watch stereotypical shows; you all got a problem with that?" Buford demanded of the group.

"Uh, not really," Phineas shrugged. Everyone was quiet for another moment.

"Jorgen could pwn you all," Buford stated. Another moment of silence followed.

"Alright, moving on…" Phineas broke the silence. "Isabella, hand me the test brush." He held out one hand toward her.

"Test brush," Isabella echoed, handing him one of the two brushes.

"Thank you," Phineas nodded as he plucked one long, orange hair out of the bristles. "Keep your fingers crossed, everyone!" Ferb crossed his middle fingers over his index fingers, his ring fingers over his pinky fingers then hooked his thumbs together. All his fingers were successfully crossed.

Phineas inserted the end of the long, orange hair into a small slot at the top of the device and everyone watched as the tracker sucked the strand in. Once the hair was out of sight, a small green light blinked next to the slot a couple times then remained on.

"Alright! It's working!" Everyone crowded around Phineas to watch as a white map made of green and black lines came up on the screen. It detailed the Flynn-Fletcher yard and the first floor of the house. A small green dot blinked on the screen in the area of the living room chair.

"Come on!" Phineas called and took off for the house. Everyone else followed close behind. They stopped in front of the patio door and looked inside. As the tracker had predicted, Candace was sitting in the recliner, talking animatedly to someone on her cell-phone. As was her habit, she glanced out the glass door to see where her brothers were, and – more importantly – what they were doing. She froze, eyes wide in surprise when she found all five kids grouped around the window, looking in on her with excitement like an exhibit at the zoo.

"Stacy…"

"Yeah, Candace?"

"They're watching me…" Her voice was a tense whisper.

"…Oh…Kay… Who's watching you?"

"Phineas and Ferb and their little friends."

Stacy laughed. "Is that all? I thought for sure you were about to say the FBI or Men in Black or something like that. I was gonna tell you to lay off the blue moss."

"They're up to something…"

"Of course they a—"

"Call ya later, Stacy."

Back out in the yard, Phineas held his hand out to Isabella.

"Now that we know it works, time for the real thing!" He announced. Isabella handed him a smaller brush with a few teal-green hairs clinging to the thin metal bristles. As before, Phineas extracted a single hair from the brush and fed it into the devise. The little green light blinked as it processed the new DNA then remained on. The screen zoomed out to show a map of the city of Danville. Everyone made small exclamations of surprise.

"He's all the way downtown!" Isabella exclaimed.

"Well, he has been gone for over a day now," Phineas reminded them. "Who knows how far he could have wandered in that time."

"I thought platypi were not supposed to do much." Baljeet thought out loud.

Phineas just shrugged. "He must've gotten bored with not doing much." He grinned and pointed enthusiastically in the general direction the little, green Perry-dot showed they should go. "Come on! Let's go find Perry!"

* * *

Perry sighed in annoyance and slammed the cupboard door shut. Doofenshmirtz really hadn't been joking when he had said he didn't have much to eat at the moment.

Reaching into the pocket of the pants that had unexplainably appeared on her when she'd become human, Perry fished out the change that was left of the ten Lawrence had given her. She scowled slightly as she counted the money. Four dollars and eighty cents. That wouldn't even get her much at Slushy Dog.

Her mind went to the account her paychecks from the Agency went into, but that could only be accessed from her lair and required retinal and finger-print recognition. Whether her retinas had changed with the species change, she didn't know, but since her fingertips were no longer covered in fur, the finger-print analyzing would most certainly fail.

Which meant she was truly dependent on Doofenshmirtz.

The bump on her head from yesterday throbbed slightly just at the idea of it. She rubbed her head and sighed. What could be more degrading than begging your nemesis for money just to get something to eat? Well, other than relying on him for shelter, agreeing to be his girlfriend, or sleep-walking into his bed?

Wow. It was amazing how low a person could sink in a day.

Two options came to Perry's mind, though she couldn't decide which was worse. One would cause her to sink lower on the scale she was already about to drop off of, while the other would go against everything she stood for.

She made a quick decision based on the idea that the second plan would prevent the humiliating scene of asking Doofenshmirtz for money.

Checking quickly that Doofenshmirtz was still working in his lab, Perry moved stealthily into the "Doctor's" bedroom. She went straight to the nightstand where his wallet sat. She had to hesitate a moment, contemplating again how this went against her morals. The mental image of herself asking Doofenshmirtz for money flashed into her head and she picked up wallet with less regrets than a moment before. She had just managed to pilfer two tens when she stopped dead at the sound of a gasp from the doorway.

"Perry-Who's-No-Longer-the-Platypus! Are… are you _stealing_?" Doofenshmirtz asked in shock. Perry couldn't get herself to turn around. She was too ashamed and humiliated. The scale had just had to lower itself to compensate for how low she'd fallen.

"Perry… I'm…" Doofenshmirtz stopped and frowned for a moment. "Honestly, I'm not sure what to feel right now. Under any other situation the sight of _you_ stealing from someone would fill me with inexpressible delight. But since that someone you're stealing from is _me_… well, it's a confusing mix of emotions." He paused again then added, "That seems to be my thing right now…" He waved it away. "Moving on… So, why are you taking money from me?"

Perry had yet to turn around and was still holding the tens in her hand, contemplating doing some fancy leaps and flips out of the room. Her escape plans were called off by her stomach growling loudly. She felt her face heat up a little in embarrassment. But, his question was answered. Perry stuffed the bills back in the wallet, closed it, turned around and held the wallet out toward Doofenshmirtz. She scowled up at her nemesis/pretend-boyfriend.

"You're hungry? That's it?" Doofenshmirtz asked. He gave a little huff. "You didn't have to resort to petty evil – that's my thing anyway – you could've just asked. I even told you before that we could go shopping!" He sighed. "Well, I guess a grocery shopping trip is in order." He brightened suddenly. "Oo! We can go to that little café by the super center! I've been meaning to try it out but just never really had a reason. You're hungry, I could use a little snack, perfect timing!" He paused to give Perry a chance to respond to this idea. She just continued to scowl up at him, his wallet still in her outstretched hand.

"Alright, it's decided!" Doofenshmirtz announced. He took the wallet from Perry and pushed it into his lab coat's pocket. In the same motion, he reached out and grabbed hold of the hand Perry had been holding the wallet in. Caught up in his own plans, he left the room and began down the hallway, drawing an unprepared Perry with him. She stumbled behind him, her eyes caught on his hand around her wrist. She couldn't decide what to do about that. Part of her said to just let it be, while another part told her she shouldn't be encouraging him. She pushed it out of her mind so that she could regain her footing and walk beside him.

"You know, Perry," Doofenshmirtz began as she fell into step on his left. "This will be kinda like a first date!"

Perry yanked her wrist out of his grip.

* * *

"We're almost there!" Phineas shouted. Behind him, the others ran to keep up. "He's right around this next corner! Aaaaaand-" He jumped around the corner of a building "Oh, there you a- …Perry?"

The others flew around the corner and had to skid to keep from running into the other boy as he looked around the Platypus-free street. There was a group of people waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, but those appeared to be the only living creatures.

"Well?" Buford demanded. "Where is he?"

Phineas looked down at the tracker again. Sure enough, the dot that marked Perry's location should have been near the group of people by the crosswalk.

"He should be right there," Phineas motioned toward the group. Everyone scanned the feet of the people, looking for the teal and tangerine body that should have been there.

"I see no platypi," Baljeet reported. "Are you sure it was Perry's hair?"

"Of course it was!" Phineas exclaimed. "Who else do we know with teal hair?"

To answer the question, Ferb tapped him on the shoulder and pointed toward the group that had just begun to cross the street. Among them was a teal haired woman walking beside a lab coat wearing man who was complaining rather loudly about cross walk signs that made noise.

"Her! She must have used Perry's brush while she was at our house!" Phineas groaned a little. Isabella made a face at that comment.

"That's just weird." She stated.

"Not as weird as Buford watching _The_ _Fairly Oddparents_," Ferb reminded her.

* * *

...The green light stands for hope. …Yay Gatsby!

Just kidding. It has no meaning. Well, actually, I guess that would make sense in this situation, too.

On another note, I have no idea how Perry gets his money from the agency, I just needed a reason for her to be broke. If she wasn't, she wouldn't need to rely on Doofenshmirtz.

One more note, Doof's apartment/lair seems to change layout with every episode and I've never been sure just how much of the building he uses as living quarters. So I'm just kinda doing my own thing with the spare bedroom and it's relation to his room, the living room, kitchen, laboratory and all else. I'm assuming it's all on the top story with the lab taking up the most space.

Unrelated note… anybody ever read "Uncle Tom's Cabin"? I just read it and there's a character in it briefly named Phineas Fletcher. I wanna say he was kinda like the P&F Phineas, but that could just be me projecting the known character onto Stowe's character. If you don't mind being mad at white people, America, and to some extent Christianity (of which I'm all three…) for a few days, check it out. It was good. Frustrating, but good.


	5. Aren't You a Little Young?

One of my new years resolutions should be to keep up with this. *sigh* Well, I set myself a goal to get this chapter up by the first of 2012. One day off. Not bad. Better news, I've already got half of the next chapter done, too! I don't write a story from start to finish. I write random scenes as they come to me and make them fit together. Because of this, I ended up writing… I don't even know how many scenes that go later in the story while trying to get this chapter finished. So, yay for that.

* * *

**Chapter 5- Aren't You a Little Young…?**

"Oooo… Say, Perry, do you like pancakes?" Doofenshmirtz hefted a sack of pancake mix in both hands. He studied the packaging a bit and frowned. "_Ten pounds?_ Who needs ten pounds of pancake mix? I mean, yeah, it's a great price, and it's the 'just add water' kind, which is great 'cause when I want pancakes I don't want to go through the trouble of mixing in eggs and… and… whatever else goes into pancakes. I just want pancakes, ya know?" He looked down at Perry. She just looked up at him with a skeptical expression. "You… you've never made pancakes before, have you?"

Perry shook her head. She liked pancakes, but she'd never had that much of a desire to make them herself. Not to mention it would have blown her cover had anyone come into the kitchen and found their platypus cooking. Pancakes weren't worth a reassigning.

Doofenshmirtz looked back at the bag of mix.

"Well, that settles it then. We're getting the pancake mix. And… that's probably all we really need, if you think about it. That's gonna be a lotta pancakes. Oh! We'll need maple syrup. So… keep your eyes open for a ten pound bottle of maple syrup. …Maybe some sausages or something."

He dropped the large bag into the cart and began pushing it down the aisle.

Perry paused, feeling eyes on her, and glanced over her shoulder as she began following a couple steps behind him. She scowled suspiciously at what looked like a mouse's tail disappearing into a display of over-sized cereal boxes. Before she had time to really consider the possible implications of this, she felt the same sensation again and flicked her eyes further down the aisle quickly.

This time, however, there was no brief glimpse of a possible agent's hind-end. Instead, she found a tall, blonde man giving her a look from the other end of the aisle. This person was making no attempt to hide the fact that he was watching her. In fact, he seemed to want her to notice him. Perry raised her eyebrow at the guy in a very what-the-heck-are-you-looking-at sort of way before turning to face forward again.

-And ran face-first into Doofenshmirtz's back. She stumbled backward but just couldn't get her feet to stay under her. She gave a slight "Oof!" as she hit the floor.

"What the-?" Doofenshmirtz turned around to see what had hit him and found Perry on the ground. He frowned down at her. "Did you run into me? You know, you're not two-feet-tall anymore. You've gotta pay attention. You can't just walk right under things and you've got a lot further to fall."

Perry ignored him and glanced over her shoulder again. The blonde guy was still watching her, grinning to himself. She looked away quickly, feeling her face heat up and getting angry. Was she really so uncoordinated in this body that strangers found it amusing?

Doofenshmirtz watched her a moment.

"Are you even listening to me?" He complained. "No. Of course you're not." He gave a short sigh. "You have horrible listening skills, Perry-Who-Is-No-Longer-the-Platypus. Have I ever told you that? Geesh. I can change your gender and species with a zap, but apparently I can't do a thing about your manners. Aw, well. Here, let me help you up." He held his hand down to her.

Some part of that broke through Perry's thoughts and she looked up to find Doofenshmirtz offering her a hand. She thought about ignoring it then sighed and let him pull her back up to her feet.

"See?" He went on once she was standing. "Now, that's manners. If I – evil Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz – can manage to be a gentleman I would think that it would be second nature to someone who spends their time— and you're not listening to me again." He had just noticed that Perry had gone back to looking over her shoulder.

The man was gone now, but she kept glaring down the aisle in case he came back. When he didn't, she turned forward again and began walking again, letting Doofenshmirtz follow her this time.

If she was going to be spending a week like this, she needed to figure out how to handle herself in this body. Not being able to walk was nothing compared to not being able to fight if needed. None of the women on soaps ever bothered to learn to fight and they always ended up bound, gagged, and hidden underground somewhere.

Not the way she wanted this week to end.

* * *

"Okay, so we just got a bad hair," Isabella decided optimistically as the group walked back toward the neighborhood. "There's gotta be tons of fur lying around your house." She shrugged. "Some of it has gotta actually be his."

Phineas nodded. "You're right. That woman was in our house for, what, maybe a couple hours? Perry's been living in there for _years_. The statistics are on our side."

Baljeet gave a slight "Hm" before wondering aloud, "Does anyone else find it odd that that woman's hair was the same texture as a platypus's?"

"Nope," Buford dismissed the question.

Before anyone else could consider this, they were stopped short when Candace stepped around the corner, blocking their path.

"Alright, what are you up to this time?" She demanded suspiciously.

"Hey, Candace. We're looking for Perry," Phineas replied. His sister scoffed.

"Why? It's not even noon yet. He never shows up until after your crazy invention disappears. He's still got a good four hours to do whatever it is he does."

"But that's just it!" Phineas told her. "Our crazy invention disappeared last night, but he didn't show up."

"Yeah," Buford spoke up. "Really threw everything outta wack. The whole day going smoothly then no, 'oh, there you are Perry.' It's just _wrong_, I tell ya. I tossed and turned all night."

"Alright." Candace wasn't fazed. "So, what? Did you forget the song?"

Phineas and Ferb both shook their heads.

"Ferb and I tried it earlier this morning. It didn't work."

"Huh," Candace thought a moment. "Are you sure you had enough—"

"Bass was perfect," Isabella cut her off.

"Okay… So then where's today's new contraption?" She glanced around.

"Right here," Phineas held up the hand-held device. "It's a DNA tracker. You feed a sample of someone's DNA in here," he pointed to the intake. "And then it brings up a map that shows you where the person is on the display."

"Alright," Candace moved to look at the screen. "So, where is he?"

"Well…" Phineas hesitated, looking at the still visible green dot on the very edge of the monitor. "We don't know. The hair we took from his brush turned out not to be his, so we have to find a new, non-polluted source of DNA."

She frowned suspiciously at her younger brother. "Which would be…?"

"Dropped hair, skin flakes, broken claws, teeth fragments… pretty much anything he might've shed could contain enough of his genetic code for this thing to pick him up," he answered.

"Don't forget about blood!" Buford added.

"Saliva could also be a good source," Baljeet suggested.

Candace gave them a frown of disgust.

"Okay. Ew," she told them then turned back to Phineas. "So… you're going back to the house? With that thing." She gestured toward the tracker.

"Yep," Phineas nodded.

"Perfect!" She grinned and began back the way she'd come from. "Go find your platypus saliva or whatever," she called over her shoulder. "And take your time! I gotta go find Mom." She then broke into a run as she turned the corner and they just heard her call out, "Mom! Mom!"

Isabella frowned as they listened to her voice fade away.

"Isn't your mom over at that estate sale today?"

"Yep," Phineas replied.

"The one way over on the other side of town?" Isabella wondered. "The one approximately five miles away from where we are now?"

Phineas nodded once. "That's the one."

She paused then nodded in the direction Candace had run. "Does she know that?"

Phineas shrugged. "She should." He grinned then. "You've really gotta admire her dedication and stamina."

* * *

Perry sat back in the black wire patio chair as she finished her pie. They had followed Doofenshmirtz' original plan and gotten lunch at the little outdoor cafe beside the grocery store. It had been a very good plan. It was hard to eat pie and be unhappy with anything at the same time.

A second later Doofenshmirtz copied her motion and added a sigh to it.

"See? I was right about this place, wasn't I?"

Perry nodded. Yep. He had been right. Something she hadn't been sure he was capable of.

"We need to come here more often," he decided. "At least a couple more times while you're still human. And, ya know, even when you do go back to being a platypus we can still take a break from all the evil schemes and fighting sometimes." He shrugged. "Hey, there's nothing in the Agency's rules that says you can't have pie with your nemesis every once in a while, is there?"

Perry thought a moment then shook her head. Dessert with your nemesis was not one of the things listed under the "do not do" category. …Oddly enough neither was "date your nemesis." Though she doubted it had ever come up before.

"Hey there." They both looked up at the greeting and Perry instantly felt a scowl come to her face. The man who had been entertained by her lack of coordination an hour ago was now standing by their table. He was giving her a slight grin.

"Enjoying the sunshine?" The man asked smoothly. He managed to make the question seem to be directed at both of them while keeping his attention on Perry.

"We are," Doofenshmirtz answer good-naturedly, oblivious to the man's one-sided attention and assuming he was a waiter. "And the pie, too. Great stuff you've got here. We were just finishing up, so—"

The younger man cut him off quickly, "In that case you won't mind if I maybe steal your daughter from you for a couple hours?"

"Daughter?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Wait. What? You think Perry's my daughter?"

The man frowned a bit, finally looking away from Perry.

"She's not?"

"What? No! She's my girlfriend!"

The man stared at him a moment, glanced at Perry then grinned at the older man.

"You're kidding." When Doofenshmirtz continued to glare at him he laughed. "You're actually serious. Oh, come on. Aren't you a little old to be dating… well… anyone? You don't exactly have looks goin' for you either."

"What?" Doofenshmirtz bristled at that. "I'll have you know that…" he deflated a bit then shrugged. "I really have no comeback to that."

The newcomer laughed at that then turned back to Perry with a grin.

"Do you really wanna hang out with this guy?" He asked her incredulously. "'Cause if his idea of showing you a good time is grocery shopping and pie… Well…" He shrugged and smiled humorously, "I'm pretty sure I can do better."

Perry studied him a few moments. He looked like he could be the leading-man in one of those romantic comedies Candace and Stacy were always watching. She would never admit that she had always liked those movies. They were like the soap operas she watched. Only funnier.

Wait.

If a guy like that was interested in her, did that mean she looked like one of the girls in those movies who always got the guy?

She looked away from him to look across the table at Doofenshmirtz. He looked like the weird, creepy neighbor who was always making complaints and whose only purpose in the movie was to provide comedic relief.

She looked back up at the younger man. He was grinning at her with all the self confidence of a man who knew just how good he looked and that any girl he wanted would come to him willingly. He probably didn't know the word "rejection" existed.

She looked across the table again. Doofenshmirtz was glaring at the man with the annoyed anger that a chess club would use to look at jocks who were about to steal the one girl who had ever dared talk to them.

She looked up at the dreamy guy again.

She had to stop at the fact that she had just thought of him as 'dreamy'. But she had.

Finally, she returned the smile and stood up.

"Perry!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. She glanced down at him then looked away. The surprise in his voice was heartbreaking. But it made the younger man's grin widen.

"Perry?" He grinned. "It's a little boyish, but cute. Just about as cute as you."

Perry's smile turned a bit embarrassed and she turned her eyes down to watch her brown boots.

The man looked down at Doofenshmirtz with an almost sympathetic hint in his grin.

"Sorry, man. But, really," he chuckled. "You should've seen this comin'."

Doofenshmirtz glowered. The younger man just shook his head and turned back to Perry.

"Come on, Babe—"

There was a brown boot waiting for his chin. But that was just because she couldn't reach his nose.

The one kick alone would've knocked him down, but Perry gave him one more solid kick to the stomach just to make sure he stayed there.

The man went down, groaning on the sidewalk, and Perry grinned.

Sleazy always canceled out dreamy.

"Ahhow! What the heck was that for?" The man exclaimed, trying to hold his chin and stomach at the same time. Perry crossed her arms under her chest and glared down at him. She made sure he got a good look at her face before stepping over him and striding away.

Doofenshmirtz stood up and grinned down at the fallen man.

"Ha! Maybe YOU should have seen THAT coming! Heh." He put his hands on his hips and smirked. "Yeah. That's right. I went there." He heard someone clearing their throat and looked over to see Perry a few yards away watching him with a raised eyebrow. Doofenshmirtz nodded. "Oh, okay, we're walking away now." He looked down at the man and gave one more "Ha!" in what he felt was a very in-your-face-loser sort of jab before grabbing their groceries and hurrying to catch up to his pseudo-girlfriend.

Perry waited then fell into step beside him, feeling good. Kicking the daylights out of someone was exactly what she had needed. She had been assuming it would end up being Doofenshmirtz, but this worked, too. Yeah.

She glanced down at her feet. Maybe she would look into getting a pair of these boots made for herself when she was back to normal. They had added a satisfying weight to her kick. Gave it more substance than just a webbed foot could.

"Did you see the look on that guy's face?" Doofenshmirtz pulled her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him. He was still looking pretty upbeat. "Ha! He chose the wrong people to mess with! Not gonna bother us again!"

Perry grinned a little as well.

* * *

I just realized I've been picturing the guy who hits on Perry as Ryan Gosling.

Also, I've often wondered how long Candace can run and yell before she gets tired. I hope for her school's sake that she's on the track team.

Lastly, I'm looking for suggestions. At some point, they will go on a real date. But I can't decide where, so I thought I'd ask everyone who reads this where they'd like to see them go or what they'd like to see them do. If I use someone's idea, I'll give them credit at the beginning of that chapter. Keep in mind it would be something Doof would come up with and something he would think could win over Perry. *shrugs*

Thanks for reading!


End file.
